Why do I think the weekend is ever going to be anything different?
Actually this Saturday is slightly different but in disguise … its still the same old …
8am -Wake up automatically suspicious, the covers have not been dragged off of me yet … bleary eyed I stumble downstairs, the Foo is happily eating cereal snuggled in a blanket playing Plants vs Zombies. The house ? Well I’ve seen tidier dumps …
Find Lee lurking in the kitchen. ..another difference. .. he’s not at work … hmmm
Quickly take my cocktail of pills to get through the day and pain relief for my sciatica.
And so it begins …. now I’m up … Mum Mum Muuuum
Have my daily breakfast of fags and Pepsi max … and I ve promised to play this game
My God! Stress levels shoot through the roof … its too early to be shot at even if it is only virtually and it would help if either he or I actually knew what I was doing …. I ve actually got the raging hump as I die on wave 9 and I only needed to complete one more wave
Break time – no , with the Foo the more you spend time with him the more he wants …cue repetitive mum mum mum climbing over me , pulling me …no the Foo isn’t a toddler. ..he’s almost 8 but he has (you may have guessed ) adhd.
He rushes to the loo , homework in hand for some reason, two minutes pass …Mum , Mum, Muuuum, POO!
I rush up , he also has compacted bowel so him going to the toilet on his own to even try is a major achievement, the fact he’s been is amazing and I have to check exactly what he’s done … I have a chart and everything.
Lee has during this time put the washing out which I’d meant to do but when the Foo wants attention, the housework gets pushed to the background.
It s now 9am and active Girl stumbles out of bed , moaning he’s woken her up , she’s in that tween stage and it’s her time of the month so of course the house is harmonious. She’s also unknowingly to me slept with a scarf tied round her neck so I have a whole neurotic moment and give her a lecture . For a bright girl she had NO common sense… first she swallowed a 10p by accident , then she fell asleep with something tied around her finger so her finger swelled up and I’m surprised she didn’t lose it. .. now this ! She grunts in response.
I try and sneak in another fag or three but the boys insisting I play another level …. he has no patience … he manages to wedge in between me and the door and proceed to shriek that I was hurting him until I give up and play.
Active Girl comes down , and again I become stroppy at this stupid game …it doesn’t help when you have three different people telling you to do three different things at once … this leads to a whole “who’s the most annoying? ” conversation. ..Lee and Ryan tend to be joint winner s ,well according to us girls, the boys choice is obviously different.
As i leave the kids to play , the Foo is singing and dancing to the cha cha slide … I hear a snippet of chaka khan too .
” I feel for you , I think I love you “
But the peace is short lived … I’ve made the mistake of telling the Foo we re going out later …
“Mum when we going ?” “2pm”
seconds later “mum when we going ?” “2pm”
“yeah but when we going ?”
” first the food shopping has to arrive , then we need lunch, then we ll get dressed ”
“When s the food shopping coming ?”
“How many minutes?”
Work it out …. 120
“When’s the food shopping coming? “
We have the EXACT same conversation every Saturday and I always get it delivered at the same time ….
“When we going mum?”
Now you know why I smoke so much ….
When he gets bored of this he decides to converse with active Girl about Jesus and where he came from … I can’t quite make it out …. soon they begin to argue over the game and active Girl shrieks constantly. ..
“Mum, Muuuum, mum -he won’t let me play “
They begin to fight , Lee intervenes as I tune out its the usual Saturday morning shenanigans. … next thing he’s crying …the Foo not Lee
11am Food shopping arrives …decide to get Lee to answer the door…active Girl floats back down from upstairs to “help” as she does when she sniffs out food.
The Foo is demanding ice-cream, an argument breaks out over where they think the knee caps are – seriously. It turns violent, the Foo is crawling round the floor like a wounded soldier.
Apparently his leg is broken. Active Girl has stopped shrieking for the moment.
“She’s tried to bite me like some monster!” He dramatically claims , she actually hasn’t attempted such a thing.
Lee turns the TV on, the Foo turns it off, the kids get into that whole each others looking at the other argument. Time to make lunch – of course active Girl wants something different to the pizza I have to shove in the oven as there’s no room in the freezer. The TV goes back on – Scooby Doo , the saviour of Saturday morning TV.
Ah, the sound of silence ….beautiful
Already I’m exhausted, I need to sleep otherwise I ll be no good for our afternoon out and I don’t want that. … every day I have to go back to bed for an hour or so … its part of my illness …the constant exhaustion.