So today at 10.30am, I get the “screening” call. I’m not sure what they want but am informed by a young sounding lady she needs to ask some questions.
In fact , she needed to know my past 20 years mental health history as she had no idea – seriously do they even bother to look at peoples notes ?
Of course, I begin to feel anxious, my hands are psychically shaking as I speak and I can hear the irritation in my voice as I explain I told Tumbleweed Steve I was on the edge back in September, according to his note s I was fine in September. …..
I put her straight on that and mention it was not on he moved his building and changed his telephone number and then promptly discharged me – according to her it was my responsibility to keep in touch .
Seething, I asked as I was the unwell one was it up to me to do the professional s job for them ? She responded with some spiel about self care .
Full blown rant time ….. that comment and her previous comments and explanation s just go to show how little education she has in the nature of mental illness. … if she had any idea on what it’s like she d know how difficult it is ….to pick up the phone , to answer the door , to drag yourself out .
Then I became teary and apologetic for being rude , I actually apologised though what I was saying was true and she was making out I was being illogical when actually for once I knew I wasn’t.
I had to end the call and rearrange another time , they won’t let me see anyone until I’ve passed this screen. I actually felt violated, completely drained and felt psychically unable to walk ….
Why is it we seem to pin our hopes on a team that let us down time and time again ? Why is it that everytime they get involved I end up feeling worse than I had previously? Is it a case of just doing what I’ve had to do the past 20 years manage by myself and rely on the meds ? Who knows. …all I know is I don’t want to answer that phone tomorrow